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Stopping Priests From Molesting Children Conspicuously Absent From Church’s List of Pope’s Miracles
From the earliest days of Pope Francis' reign, saint watchers pegged the wildly popular pontiff as a strong candidate for eventual canonization. Las Vegas...
Jon Gruden Spends Afternoon At Zoo Giving Expert Breakdowns of Various Animals
Tampa, Fla - A delighted crowd looked on Saturday as Monday Night Football color analyst Jon Gruden spent the better part of an afternoon...
Women With Breast Implants Insecure Says Man With $90,000 Mercedes
Santa Monica, CA - Local attorney Jason Koh delighted colleagues Monday with his witty and acerbic take on the inherent insecurity of women who...
F*cket List! 10 Sex Things Every Person Should Try Before They Die
Sex is great, but with everything going on these days (looking at you, #metoo movement), most of the good sex things are off the...
Unemployed Screenwriter Puts Finishing Touches On 6th Draft of Oscar Acceptance Speech
North Hollywood, CA - Resisting the urge to work on his two unfinished feature screenplays, unemployed writer Mark Patterson polished off a stellar re-write...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...