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ISIS Addresses Declining Martyr Recruitment By Upping Reward From 72 to 94 Virgins
In an unexpected and possibly desperate move, ISIS announced Wednesday that it is increasing its standard offer of 72 post-martyrdom virgins to a whopping...
Eccentric Billionaire Uses Sweets To Lure Young Boys Into Tiny Submarine
Thailand - Following a missed opportunity to use his high-tech, boy-sized, and unmistakably phallic submarine to traffic a group of eleven athletic young Thai...
Jilted Girlfriend Sadistically Re-Sets Netflix Password
GLENDORA, CA - 26-year-old hairdresser Candace Patterson sparked controversy Tuesday when she viciously reset the Netflix password she shared with long-time boyfriend Jake Quiller...
New iPhone OS Terms And Conditions Contract To Offer “Agree To Disagree” Option
In an apparent effort to appease unhappy iPhone users off-put by some of the more draconian clauses hidden in the most recent update of...
OP-ED: I Drowned My First Litter; And It Was The Right Thing To Do
My name is Miss Igloo. And I drowned my first litter.
For nearly five years, I buried those words in a hairball of secrecy and...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...