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Woman Finds Unsolicited Dick-Pic Surprisingly Fetching
Los Angeles, CA - In stark contrast to the countless unrequested penile photographs with which she was previously inundated, local hostess Sarah Halicki was...
Local Man Only Needs One More Bump
Chicago, IL - As the sun began to rise over a decadent Bridgeport house party Saturday morning, local server Dylan Christensen reported tremendous certainty...
Mother Earth Impatiently Awaits Human Extinction; Needs Some Time To Herself
Olduvai Gorge, Tanzania - During a tearful visit to the place she first met mankind, Mother Earth announced Tuesday that she has given up...
Hundreds Of Catholic Priests Resign To Pursue Careers As Alabama District Attorney
Gadsden, GA - In an unprecedented and mysterious wave of mass resignations, at least 358 Catholic priests from around the nation have left the...
Mercury In Retrograde, Widespread Bloodshed Inevitable
Earth – In yet more bad news for Earth, early this morning the planet Mercury went into retrograde. The unexpected shift in the forward motion...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...