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Master Race To Shift Extermination Efforts To Lice And Scabies
Pelham, NC - In a surprising shift of strategy, KKK Grand Wizard Justin Moore announced Tuesday his organization would pivot from its long-standing efforts...
ISIS Addresses Declining Martyr Recruitment By Upping Reward From 72 to 94 Virgins
In an unexpected and possibly desperate move, ISIS announced Wednesday that it is increasing its standard offer of 72 post-martyrdom virgins to a whopping...
Jon Gruden Spends Afternoon At Zoo Giving Expert Breakdowns of Various Animals
Tampa, Fla - A delighted crowd looked on Saturday as Monday Night Football color analyst Jon Gruden spent the better part of an afternoon...
Tarantino Quits Star Trek Project After Learning N-word No Longer Used In 23rd Century
Los Angeles, CA - Citing a lack of creative freedom, super-star director Quentin Tarantino abruptly pulled out of the planned next installment of the...
Scaramucci Perfect Gentleman at 6-year-old daughter’s Tea Party
Long Island, NY - Newly appointed White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci shocked observers Friday afternoon when he behaved like a perfect gentleman at...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...