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Scaramucci Fucks America On First Date; Never Calls Back
Washington D.C. - Confimring everything America already thought about men, Anthony Scaramucci reportedly ghosted the Nation last week after the two had sex on...
Nicolas Cage Marks Himself “Safe” During Hollywood Witch Hunt
Las Vegas, NV - Friends, family, and admirers of Hollywood mega-star Nicolas Cage were relieved Monday morning to receive a Facebook notification from the...
Concussed NFL Player Forgets To Thank God During Press Conference
Seattle, WA - Following a game in which he suffered a powerful blow to the head, Seahawks' star quarterback Russell Wilson shocked reporters and...
OP-ED: I Am an Independent, Impartial Judge of Beer
By Bart O'Kavanaugh
I was deeply honored to stand at the White House July 9 with my wife, Whatsherface, and my daughters, they know who...
Climate Scientist Cashes In On Global Warming Hoax By Landing Sweet Adjunct Professor Gig
Medford, MA - 33 year-old climatologist Dr. Edward Hinson shrewdly cashed in on the widespread global warming hoax by landing a cushy adjunct professorship...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...