Luxor, Egypt – Unsatisfied with its status as the second biggest streaming service in the world, Netflix announced Friday it has reached agreements with the governments of Egypt and Sudan to purchase the Nile for a reported $12.8 billion in cash and stock. The aggressive move is the latest in a vicious territorial battle between two media giants. “For years, Amazon has claimed that it is bigger and more far-reaching than us,” said Netflix CEO, Reed Hastings. “It was always a lie, but if they want to play that game, we will play. Our streaming capability and geographic penetration are now irrefutably bigger than theirs.”
Amazon chief Jeff Bezos fired back on twitter, pointing out that, while the Netflix Nile may technically be longer in reach, Amazon has more bandwidth, and that’s what really matters. “They can buy fancy rivers all day long,” Bezos explained. “At the end of the day, our customers know that our content catalogue goes far deeper than theirs.”
Media analysts concur that it is difficult to ascertain with certainty which streaming service is the biggest. “There are so many tributaries… …I mean subsidiaries,” explained commentator Lowell Sherman. “At the end of the day, it really comes down to where you measure from.”
