Pelham, NC – In a surprising shift of strategy, KKK Grand Wizard Justin Moore announced Tuesday his organization would pivot from its long-standing efforts to exterminate the mud races in order to focus all its attention on exterminating the lice and scabies with which its members are currently plagued. “There will always be time to eradicate the black and Jewish vermin from our nation later on,” Moore declared. “Right now we must direct all our energy to wiping out the parasitic vermin which threatens the purity of our white skin.” Long-time Klan member Denise Cantwell was supportive of the move. “How we spose to demonstrate our genetic superiority when I got red splotches all over my skin ’cause I aint stopped itchin in 3 months?!,” she demanded. “As soon as we take care of the lice, scabies and bed-bugs everybody in town’s got, then we can go back to riddin this country of all its non-white filth.”
