Cleveland, OH – Browns’ all-pro offensive tackle Joe Thomas set a jaw-dropping NFL record Sunday when he surpassed 10,000 consecutive snaps without ever coming out of a game. However, in a stunning admission, Thomas conceded at the post-game press conference that, during his entire 11-year streak, he never once bothered to the learn the name of the quarterback he was blocking for. “What’s the point?” said the future hall of famer. “Seems like every time I go into the huddle it’s some new guy calling plays he’s totally incapable of executing.” Thomas added: “With all the complex blocking schemes, assignments and formations I have to remember; the name, face, or any other distinguishing characteristic of the quarterback is really superfluous information that can only distract me from my job.”
The Browns, who have started 19 different quarterbacks during Thomas’ tenure without a single starter lasting an entire season, released an official statement heaping praise on their noble iron-man: “His endurance is unprecedented in our sport,” Browns’ management glowed. “Browns fans truly appreciate Joe’s dogged protection of Cleveland sports legends such as Brady Quinn, Seneca Wallace, Austin Davis, and of course the incomparable Thad Lewis.”
According to Thomas, whose blue collar workmanlike attitude has earned him the admiration of fans and colleagues alike, the 10,000 snap milestone is unimportant: “When they told me about the streak two weeks ago, I had no idea. I would have just as readily believed I had blocked for 10,000 consecutive quarterbacks, not one of whom I could name or would recognize if they passed me on the street.”
