Christ Church, New Zealand – Filming of James Cameron’s long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no one gives a shit about sequels to Avatar.
“We really wanted to power through and at least finish one of them,” lamented producer Jon Landau. “But the test for relevance came back negative and we simply can’t in good conscience expose the cast and crew to the risk of being associated with four mega-budget sequels to a movie no one has watched or thought about in a decade.”
“I know I saw Avatar when it came out,” recalled lead actor Sam Worthington. “And I remember there were blue aliens flying on dragons or something but I honestly couldn’t tell you what the movie was about. All I know is James promised me that after these sequels are done, I’ll be getting laid like it’s 2009 again!”
“I’d love to give you a time-table for when these films will be finished and released,” lamented Cameron himself. “But that’s simply not feasible at this time. It all depends on when I finally get the kinks worked out of my new time machine. Obviously, I always intended to release Avatar 2, 3, 4, and 5 in 2011 when they were socially and cinematically relevant.”
When asked If they were disappointed by the cancelation, several cast members revealed they had already begun to distance themselves from the project long before the announcement.
