Business

If there were a way to expose your brand to a guaranteed fifty unique sets of eyes per week: Each for 15-20 minutes of undivided focus, specifically targeted to your desired demographic, what would that be worth to you? Local Slut Mckenzie Banks realized she had "struck oil" when a stoner dude whose name might have been Kyle finished on...

Pelham, NC - In a surprising shift of strategy, KKK Grand Wizard Justin Moore announced Tuesday his organization would pivot from its long-standing efforts to exterminate the mud races in order to focus all its attention on exterminating the lice and scabies with which its members are currently plagued. "There will always be time to eradicate the black and...

Seattle, WA - An alarming new study published Thursday in the American Journal of Business Anthropology found that 58% of the people in your office have fantasized about killing you. The 18-month study, headed by Dr. Bethany Leaming of the University of Washington, used revolutionary techniques in inducing honesty with controlled doses of Sodium Pentothal, scopolamine, and MDMA. "Thoughts...

Luxor, Egypt - Unsatisfied with its status as the second biggest streaming service in the world, Netflix announced Friday it has reached agreements with the governments of Egypt and Sudan to purchase the Nile for a reported $12.8 billion in cash and stock. The aggressive move is the latest in a vicious territorial battle between two media giants. "For...

We’ve interviewed experienced housekeepers on matters, such as how much to tip, which requests are considered rude, and how much sexual harassment is too much.