Entertainment

Nerds across the Nation were left reeling Monday on news of the death of Marvel Comics legend Stan Lee. The brokenhearted legion of mom's basement-dwellers took solace however in a rumor making the rounds on reddit that the Marvel master himself will make an annoyingly obvious and self-indulgent cameo appearance at his own funeral. Marvel Studios appeared to confirm the rumor Wednesday when they...

Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no one gives a shit about sequels to Avatar.  "We really wanted to power through and at least finish one of them," lamented producer Jon Landau. "But the test for relevance came back...

In wake of the release of two-part HBO Documentary "Leaving Neverland," Michael Jackson fans everywhere are reeling over compelling evidence that their hero is, in all likelihood, guilty of child molestation after all. But mostly they are just glad he's not alive to see this. "This is just awful guys. I always thought...

Corpus Christi, TX - Parents of teens across the nation were frantic Thursday as they struggled to understand the deadly consequences of the newest online viral challenge sweeping the web: Enlisting in the United States Military. "It's both frightening and sad," lamented Mother of three, Kim Pearce, who was forced by the new trend to sit down with her 18-year-old son...

Woodstock, CT - Yet another Hollywood figure has come under fire for inappropriate touching following new accusations that beloved character-actor Brian Dennehy groped a HoneyBaked ham at Thanksgiving dinner Thursday. "It was disgusting," reported Dennehy's niece Sandy who was preparing her own dinner plate only a few feet away from Dennehy at the time of the alleged assault."Before he cut...

Los Angeles, CA - 25-year-old exotic dancer Eden Hooper filed suit Monday against Jane Doe, recent recipient of a $1.1 million settlement from R&B singer Usher, alleging that she gave Usher the herpes virus he later transmitted to Doe. "She’s carrying a very specific version of that virus that he got from me," Hooper explained. "Although it wasn’t transmitted...

Dating can be exhausting when you're an incel. After swiping left on 90 percent of Tinder profiles because the prospects are too fat, too tall, too ethnic, too old, too successful, too sexually experienced, wear too much make-up, have tattoos, are on a dating site, or have an inadequate hip-to-waist ratio; you are left with only a few acceptable...

Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his fellow citizens directly with a series of evening “Fireside Tweets” in which he will explain in nuanced detail the causes of our present crisis and the steps that must be taken to end it. He...

The Internet, Earth - Twitter was abuzz Tuesday with frustrated Netflix subscribers unable to access the controversial new documentary "The End of The Internet" about the impending death of Net Neutrality under new rules proposed by the Trump administration's Federal Communications Commission. "This fucking blows," complained Twitter user @anarchris. "I keep telling my roommate we need to upgrade to...

Las Vegas, NV - Friends, family, and admirers of Hollywood mega-star Nicolas Cage were relieved Monday morning to receive a Facebook notification from the National Treasure star marking himself “Safe” during the devastating Witch Hunt that has killed and injured the careers of countless powerful male celebrities and executives in recent weeks. “As a man, it has been beyond traumatizing...