Washington D.C. – Newly leaked transcripts of the Senate testimony of Donald Trump Jr. reveal that the president’s firstborn had his allowance cut in half following an incident in the Fall of 2017 in which Don Jr. allegedly told his father how the third season of Narcos ends before the President had a chance to watch the finale for himself.
“I do not recall ever discussing the ending of Narcos with my father,” Don Jr. explained. “But if I did inadvertently talk about it in his presence, it was only because the mainstream media had covered the show so extensively that I forgot some people may not have finished it yet. Is there anything they won’t do to hurt my father?”
Don Jr. went on to explain that the allegation was particularly painful since the ending of Narcos 3 held special significance for him and his relationship to his father: “When Chucho and Pena look out on the Rio Grande and realize that the drug trade has moved to Mexico and is never coming back to Colombia, it made me think of the first time my dad told me that shitting on Mexicans was the key to winning the presidency. I just wish we could have watched that episode together. If only that Columbian prostitute hadn’t ruined Narcos-night by overdosing half-way through episode seven, we would have. Life isn’t always fair.”
