Lambertville, NJ – Local electrician Joseph Chapman was reportedly unsure how to proceed Tuesday as his friend’s wedding, for which he received a save-the-date but not an actual invitation, draws near.
“It’s less than a month away and I know they already sent out invitations because I saw one on my buddy’s fridge when I was at his cookout last week,” Chapman told reporters. “I’m just trying to think if we’ve had any beefs or anything since I got the save-the-date that would make them change their minds about inviting me. I guess it could just be lost in the mail, but I don’t wanna show up uninvited and throw-off their male-to-female ratio or something like that.”
According to mutual friend Greg Tarney, a possible explanation for Chapman’s ambiguous invite-status could be related to an incident that occurred last spring when Chapman brought a very young Tinder date to a brunch celebrating the newly betrothed couple. “She showed the server an ID, but I swear there’s no way that girl was 21,” Tarney recalled. “She got wasted and vomited mimosa and red-velvet petifores all over the bride-to-be. I’m thinking maybe they just weren’t willing to risk a repeat on their day.
Chapman explained that, without an invitation, he wouldn’t be able to RSVP with his regrets even if he planned to skip the wedding. And in the unlikely event that the lack of invitation was a mistake, not responding either way would be equally rude. “Right now I’m just going to keep checking the mail every few hours; that’s really all I can do. Sending them a text asking what the deal is would just be too awkward. And if there’s one thing I never wanna do, it’s make my friends feel awkward.”
