Just hours after midterm elections were officially called, irrefutable evidence of widespread voter fraud surfaced when Florence Stanely, a registered Democrat, posted a picture with not one, but two “I Voted” stickers. The Problem? One of the stickers was on her child, who is clearly too young to be a registered voter.
“Sticker fraud is a very serious crime,” insisted Local poll worker Iris Greene. “‘One sticker per ballot’ is the first oath every volunteer must take. I can’t imagine how someone could get their hands on TWICE the legal limit of stickers unless of course she somehow cast more than one ballot.”
It is presently unknown how the young woman was able to vote twice, but reports of people presenting multiple stickers at establishments offering free coffee or beer to confirmed voters are still coming in.
“This clearly vindicates the President on the issue of voter fraud,” gloated White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders. “If you extrapolate from the young lady with two stickers, it’s clear that 30 million of the 60 million votes cast for Hillary Clinton in 2016 were, in fact, fraudulent duplicate votes.”
The hashtag #MyPetVoted is also being investigated as it has led to the discovery of pets donning the honorable stickers on Instagram. The recent rise in registered emotional-support animals might explain how Democrats are getting their pets into polling places to cast fraudulent votes.
