STUDY: Phone At 17% Will Totally Last The Night
San Diego, CA - Researchers at the University of California San Diego published findings Thursday showing that local hostess Angela Howell’s Iphone, currently at...
Local Hero Swipes Right On Woman With Only Neck-Up Photos
Los Angeles, CA - Adam Miller shocked friends and family Tuesday when the 32-year-old freelance public relations rep heroically swiped right on the Tinder...
Trump To Replace DREAM Act With Lucid Nightmare Act
Washington D.C.- Following the announcement Sunday that The White House would be terminating The Deferred Action on Childhood Arrivals ("DACA") program, otherwise known as...
Local Man Only Needs One More Bump
Chicago, IL - As the sun began to rise over a decadent Bridgeport house party Saturday morning, local server Dylan Christensen reported tremendous certainty...
Nation’s Liberals Binge On Impeachment Porn
Minneapolis, MN - Shares of Pornhub rose 8% Friday as America's liberals continued their record-breaking consumption of VIVID MEDIA's newly released virtual reality porn...
Electronic Supergroup ‘Flying Flotus’ To Release Surprise Album
Los Angeles, CA - Experimental Electronic music fans around the world were thrilled this morning with the announcement that Supergroup FLYING FLOTUS will be...