Beverly Hills, CA – Renowned Psychiatrist Dr. Bernard Neagle confirmed Wednesday that recently fired Breitbart chief and former Whitehouse advisor Steve Bannon has indeed been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder following a horrifying incident in which Mr. Bannon accidentally pressed #2 for Spanish while applying for unemployment benefits over the phone.
“Mr. Bannon was already in a very fragile psychological state due to the loss of his job and the humiliation of asking for a government handout,” Dr. Neagle explained. “When the tremors from his alcohol withdrawals caused him to unintentionally press #2, thereby subjecting him to the main menu in Spanish, it was just too much for him to take. The utter futility of his xenophobic nationalist agenda was suddenly too obvious to ignore. His defense mechanisms came crashing down and he snapped.”
Dr. Neagle reports that he has already begun intensive exposure therapy to treat Mr. Bannon’s trauma and that significant progress has already been made: “We began by simply replaying the Spanish language menu over and over until it no longer induced anxiety in the patient. Then, Last week, I took Steve to his first taco truck. At first, he was apprehensive and concerned that someone would see him there. But after administering four cervezas, three tacos, and a torta; Steve was relaxed, content, and engaged in spirited conversation with several Latino patrons whom he was pleasantly surprised to learn share his strong Catholic faith and traditional family values.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me that they don’t want Muslims here either?” Bannon queried. “I would have reached out to them years ago. I guess it’s never too late to grow and find common ground with others.
