Washington, D.C. – According to a study published by Pew Research Center this week, most Americans cited fear of liberals breaking into their home and taking their guns as the number one reason for keeping a loaded gun by their bed.
The study, which was based on interviews with nearly 20,000 gun owners across 28 states, revealed a variety of motivations for purchasing a lethal weapon and stashing it mere inches from your head while you sleep. While defending your arsenal from gun-grabbing socialists topped the list, it was followed closely by “the coming civil war,” “having a white teenage daughter,” and “MS-13.”
Even after subjects were informed that, according to Harvard Injury Control Research Center, Americans were statistically less likely (93%) to have their guns stolen by a Democrat if they didn’t own one in the first place, about nine-in-ten (89%) said they weren’t swayed at all because they heard the HICRC is funded by George Soros.
Over the course of the 10-year study, about 17% of the original subjects passed away from natural causes, gun-related accidents, and other causes, which made it difficult to accurately gauge whether or not any attempted gun robberies by Libs would have been thwarted by those gun owners who didn’t survive the duration of the study. But no reported Left-wingers were shot while trying to take guns from the remaining subjects.
Researchers noted their pleasant surprise that the other 13% of study respondents admitted that they were just kind of hoping for a break-in because they always fantasized about killing someone and that’s the only way they can legally do it.
