Washington D.C. – In a bold departure from Christmas tradition, the White House unveiled a festive burning lawn-cross as part of its Holiday decorations Tuesday. The First Lady’s office described the motif: “The choice of orange flame on wooden cross represents both the eternal flame of Christ’s kingdom as well as the fiery depths of Hell from which Lord Satan monitors all things and ensures the continued unfettered ascension to power of all those who have been wise enough to leverage their souls’ value to the maximum benefit of themselves and their blood-kin.”
