Bucks, PA — After over a month of meticulous planning, 27-year-old Kimberley Sweetin excitedly entered Home Depot Wednesday evening to get the tools and materials she needed for a DIY wine bar. “But what I’m really looking forward to”, Sweetin explained, “is stopping what I’m doing multiple times to politely nod and smile at unsolicited advice from the lurking older gentleman who will no doubt know exactly what I need for my project.” “When I reach for the brand of black walnut wood stain I decided on before leaving my home, I just know it will make me feel so much more secure in my decision when I hear that hoarse old voice from behind me bellow ‘That’s a good brand there!’”
Sweetin showed reporters her carefully drawn plans, including marked aisles where she anticipated a higher likelihood of running into the chivalrous sage who would be monopolizing her time. “The first thing on my list is selecting and cutting the lumber,” Sweetin relayed while looking at the measurements for the side paneling, “But I’m even more stoked to delay turning on the loud table saw in order to hear my gallant helper, who never actually asked me what I’m making, explain to me that white pine is actually more weather resistant than oak, even if it’s a softer wood.” As of press time Sweetin still had not excused herself from the kindly gentleman’s endless stream of irrelevant tips.
